## The first law of laboratory work

A hot flask looks exactly the same as a cold one.

## Rule for laboratory technicians

When you don't know what exactly you are doing, do it carefully.

## Fingale's rule

Teamwork is very important. It allows someone else to blame.

## Fingale's Creed

Truth in Science. Don't be fooled by facts.

## A brief guide to modern sciences

1. If it's green or twitching, it's biology.

2. If it smells bad - chemistry.

3. If it doesn't work - physics.

## Muench's law

Nothing contributes to successful innovation like a lack of validation.

## May's law of stratigraphy

The quality of the correlation is inversely proportional to the density of the points.

## Lerman's Law of Technology

Any technical problem can be overcome with enough time and money.

## Lerman's consequences

1. You will always run out of time or money.

2. Donors will refuse your proposal if the results are not known in advance.

## Thumb postulate

A simple and acceptable lie is more useful than a complex and incomprehensible truth.

## Jones law

A scientist who has made a significant contribution to any field of research and continues to work in it for a long time becomes here a stumbling block of progress - in direct proportion to the significance of his initial contribution.

## Mann's Law

If a scientist has discovered a fact suitable for printing, then the latter becomes the central element of his theory.

## Consequence

This theory, in turn, becomes central to the entire scientific direction.

## Determining the interaction of Bitov's definitions

A lemma is a proven truth that has meaning only for another, more significant truth - a theorem.

## Ruler rule

There are no straight lines.

## Grelba's law of mistakes

For any sequence of calculations, errors will begin to be detected at the end that is opposed to the beginning of the check.

## Roberts axiom

There are only mistakes.

## Berman's Corollary

What is an error for one, for another - the initial data.

## Einstein's remarks

Because mathematical theories relate to the real world, they are unreliable, but if they are reliable, they do not relate to the real world.

## Finman's law of mathematics

Formulas written by some mathematicians will not be read by others.

## The first law of small particle physics

The shorter the life of a particle, the more expensive it is to obtain it.

## The second law of small particle physics

Building particles of matter in nature do not appear by themselves.

## Weiler's law

History is the science of not repeating itself twice.

## Darrow's note on history

Everything repeats itself in history. This is why she is bad.

## Paul's Laws on Economic Research

1. Refute the last established truth on the list.

2. Add yours.

3. Pass the list to the next one.

## Allard's laws

1. Anyone who wants to learn will learn.

2. Those who do not want to learn will manage enterprises.

3. Anyone who is incapable of learning or managing, until he loses consciousness, will be engaged in establishing the procedure for the appointment of scholarships and the work of enterprises.